Costa Teguise

If you live in Europe and you fancy a cheeky bit of winter sun, without going long haul, then the Canary Islands are an obvious choice. [Warning; laboured historical ‘joke’ coming up] Many would give their right arm for a trip to Tenerife; Horatio Nelson* certainly gave his! Cue the guffaws from the historians…

Recently flight prices have gone up so much such that a week in the Red Sea costs about the same price as the Canaries, so we have been to Egypt for the last few years. Recently cheaper flights were back on the menu, so off we went. The week cost us £400, excluding spending money. There are seven main islands and I’ve been to Tenerife, Fuerteventura, and La Gomera once each, but about five times to Lanzarote. What draws me back I hear you ask? Well, it’s not culture and history. If that’s your bag, and you find yourself landing at Arrecife, you’d best stay on the plane. Lanzarote ‘does what it says on the tin’, but it doesn’t say very much on the tin.

Costa Teguise is a typical resort on the island, and it offers sunshine, beaches, bars and restaurants. When we went it was cloudy and windy, so we only got bars and restaurants. The Canaries have a reputation for being windy at any time of year, this is a bonus in summer when it can be very hot. We only got one beach-worthy day when we could sunbathe and, if you were brave, swim.

Last time, we stayed at the superbly situated Celeste Apartments. They are basic, in the ‘very basic’ sense of that word. Some reviews on TripAdvisor seem to threaten a cockroach infested Gulag, but, to be fair, they’re fine. Some are in need of refurbishment, several were being refurbished during our stay, if you’re out all day, you don’t notice it. If we were to go back, I’d want an apartment that had been renovated though. Apparently they’re pretty good. BTW, the staff were very nice and helpful.

Celeste Apartments’ big plus is its proximity to the beach and the heart of the nightlife of the resort. Despite being so close to this, it’s also surprisingly quiet. In Costa Teguise, out of the school holidays, most of the holidaymakers are retired and most of them are British. Half of the bars seem to be run by Brits for Brits, and they do it well. You can get a pint for £1.50. Inevitably, perhaps the town doesn’t have a very Spanish feel to it. All the bars have big screens for the football and when there are no matches they show box sets of ‘The Benny Hill Show’ and ‘On the Buses’.

Costa Teguise caters for the eclectic British palette; consequently, the range of restaurants is superb. Alongside the traditional English seaside fare there are many other national cuisines. We ate in Spanish, Chinese, Indian, Italian and Peruvian places. Nearly all are priced cheaper than back in the UK. It’s not a place where you will go thirsty. There are two main focal points for relaxing with a beverage. The main one one, perhaps, is known as the square and it is a focal point in the evenings. It’s well set up with plenty of bars and outside drinking places and has a good vibe.

Down towards the beach from the square there are some good bars on the sea front. These are inevitably popular during the day because of the sea view. And a good place to get a drink and a suntan! If you walk around the coast to the left from here (facing the sea) you’ll end up in another, quieter, square that has a couple of bars and shops.

Taking a walk to the right past the main beach you will come to another area with bars and restaurants. Again, these have a sea view. I rather liked them. But, I do like sitting in bars in the sunshine, so I’d take my recommendations with a pinch of salt.

Another restaurant that warrants a second visit for me is an Italian restaurant called ‘El Patio’. They did more than Italian food, but that was the main thrust of the menu. Their pizzas were fantastic. The dough bases were spot on. I’ve been here many times over the years. In high season, you would be wise to book. When all the restaurants around them have empty tables, this place is always busy, and it’s pretty big. It does attract families earlier in the evening, but if the children are noisy, you can ask a waiter to strike them.

There really are too many restaurants to mention, but here’s one more. El Guachinche de Luis (you can find it on Google maps it doesn’t have a website) is a little café that is popular with the locals. Everything is very reasonably priced, it serves mainly tapas. Two dishes are enough for one person at lunchtime I’d say. I had some chorizo cooked in white wine which was splendid. Next to Celeste Apartments, there’s a little bar called ‘Motown’. For a mere £3.00 the full English breakfast was impressive. I also watched the football there, it’s a good place with a friendly vibe. I popped in quite a bit.

There are at least three good beaches in Costa Teguise; Playa de las Cucharas is the big one with loads of sunbeds, Playa del Jablillo is my favourite as it’s quite good for snorkelling, and there’s Playa Bastian which is quite usefully sheltered. If you have a car, there’s quite a few nice beaches in Lanzarote and none are too far away. I think the most charming is Playa de Papagayo. It’s set in a (frankly ugly) volcanic rock conservation ‘park’ but this means the beach is isolated and quiet. It’s a beautiful cove set between two little cliffs. There’s very little there except for one restaurant, no sunbeds, so take everything you need for the day. The beach is ‘Instagrammable’!

There is a two mile long promenade between Costa Teguise and the picturesque desalination plant down the coast. It’s had money spent on it and they’ve done a good job. It’s a pleasant stroll (or cycle) though there’s one small section near a sewage treatment point. As you would expect, it stinks, but oddly there’s a little bench there and there’s always a couple of people sat there taking in the view. Out of the entire two mile stretch, why pick the only bit that reeks of poo? The rest of it is very nice.

Should you go?

We like Lanzarote and have been to a couple of resorts. They all have great beaches, but our favourite place is Costa Teguise because of the restaurants. There’s plenty of cheap accommodation or flash hotels if you prefer. I wouldn’t go all-inclusive because of the quality of the food on offer in the town. The only downside is that there is not a lot to do if you don’t get sunny weather. I don’t think we’d go again in January.

*The Battle of Santa Cruz de Tenerife, 22^nd July 1797. Nelson lost his arm. He also lost the battle.

Incidentally, if you liked my blog, there’s every possibility that you’ll like the comic novel I’ve recently published. One of the chapters is set in Costa Teguise. As much as I enjoyed teaching, and respect those who do the job, there’s plenty to laugh at. I spent 30 years giggling 😊. It’s a bargain at £2.42 for the Kindle! Click on the image for the Amazon link.